While in the gym this morning, my client observed that all clients are representations of their trainers. She posits that if you take the trainers out of the room, identifying which trainer each client worked with is possible based how the clients present themselves. And she speculated that personality similarity happens frequently based on with whom we spend our time.
My question to her was "What does that say about you?!"
My question to you is "Who are you hanging around?"
What habit can you renounce just for today?
What would be the opposite of your habit? Can you do it?
Aloha and pomai'ka'i (good luck)!
What is your definition of failure?
According to dictionary.com, The definition of failure is: "To fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved."
Notice the definition is specific to a task or activity; failure does NOT define the person doing the task or activity.
So, what if it is our expectations that elicit the feeling of failure?
And what would it take to wrap your brain around goals set toward learning and experimentation rather than a specific outcome?
As many of you know, I love my two mountain bikes! Just last week I witnessed a young boy doing wheelies as I was riding to the gym. When I saw him, I thought "I want to do that!" So I set a goal to experiment with something seemingly reserved for young people and professionals. Naturally, while learning to do wheelies, I don't expect to get it right immediately; in fact, I foresee falling on my ass at some point because I don't YET know how to shift my body weight above one wheel without toppling over backward. Does that mean I fail? Don't be silly! It merely suggests that it may be prudent for me to practice on sand or grass rather than pavement. My goal is to learn; I have no expectations, just a fun experiment in progress.
What is your definition of success?
When learning a new skill, do you avoid tasks and activities in which you may not succeed? And what might you try if your focus were on experimentation and learning rather than on an outcome or perfect result?
To follow up the definition of failure with the definition of success: "The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals."
If we could set our goals as experiments, we'd find success in everything we do!
When someone asks you "How are you?" do you answer honestly or are you always "fine"? I met a lovely woman today who answered honestly and gave us both an opportunity to make a difference in each other's day.
It takes courage to say "meh?" in response to "how are you" because we're not conditioned to care if someone says something other than "fine." I heard her conundrum in her struggle to understand why she isn't always HAPPY! So I asked her what makes her laugh and she told me a story about a child with a smile on her face. And I asked her what the best part of her day has been and she thought about it for a moment and said: "I'm alive." How powerful! For that moment she experienced more than "meh." And my gift was seeing the transformation in her perspective. Because of her honesty and my curiosity, we were both able to find gratitude for a brief yet powerful connection.
Human emotions ebb and flow and unfortunately, we have a propensity toward a negativity bias. And it's completely normal! To find our way back to positivity, all we need to do is look within ourselves. We don't need to know why we feel unsatisfied when life seems to be only "fine," we just have to accept that that's our reality FOR NOW. Once we recognize it, we can ask ourselves what's going well or what we're grateful for or talk to someone that cares or move our bodies (which will release energy giving hormones).
So, if you read this, Tanya, thank you for your transparency and allowing me the pleasure of seeing you smile!
Putting our spin on reality is what humans do; life is more comfortable that way. So, what's your tendency? Are you aware of your filters and biases?
At one end of the spectrum, some experience most events as negative or burdensome and seem comfortable lolling in misery. At the other end, some refuse to see what might be painful or difficult and choose to redirect their attention to everything positive; they prefer to wear rose-colored glasses.
Ignoring the truth is a game of pretending. You're doing a disservice to yourself and others by rejecting possibilities that might not fit with your worldview or your style. There's something to be learned by those that lean into reality. It takes courage to observe what's happening without hiding behind melodrama or Pollyannaism.
You're not as evolved as you think you are if you're stepping over the truth.
Learner and sharer of all things healthy, active, esteem building, growth promoting, witty and Hawaiian