If you recognized some of your own excuses for not taking steps toward change in my last blog, I offer you alternative questions to those that keep you stuck. Constricting questions provide restricted options – be honest in what you seek. If it’s change you want, begin asking yourself the hard questions you avoid, then open your mind to expanded possibilities.
It's not the right time.
I need to get everything in place first.
What if I make the wrong decision?
What if they get mad at me?
What if they don't like me?
What if they don't love me?
I might be rejected.
I'm too busy.
They're counting on me.
As soon as I finish this project.
When work slows down.
What if I fail?
It's too hard.
It's too painful.
What difference will it make?
I need to learn more about it first.
I'm not prepared.
I don't know how.
Everything could fall apart!
What if I'm all alone?
What if I lose everything?
I'll do it later.
It's not that bad.
Maybe after I talk to my friends.
I've got a lot of other things to think about.
Someone else will take care of it.
It's not my responsibility.
I'll make them see it my way.
Maybe tomorrow will be different.
It'll take too much energy.
I'm going to think about it a little longer.
If I stay occupied, I won't think about it.
If I don't acknowledge it, it's not true.
Other people will be affected.
Maybe it'll change on its own.
All of these things are true all the time – no matter which course of action you take – or don't take.
Uncertainty and unpleasant experiences are part of change, they cannot be removed or managed to guarantee safe passage. As soon as we own what we want our lives to be about and accept that difficult feelings, thoughts and memories are part of the journey, we can begin moving toward something that matters.
Aloha nui loa.
If you find yourself feeling taken for granted, take a moment to consider how you've taught others to treat you.
Value yourself and others will do the same. Or, value yourself enough to distance yourself from those that don't.
Learner and sharer of all things healthy, active, esteem building, growth promoting, witty and Hawaiian