How cool is a Hawaiian themed race?!
It seemed appropriate that team alohacoach take part in such an event so Nicholas, Lucy and I took on the 5k Tiki Run last night.
It was a typical humid Minnesota July evening, and Team Ortho did a great job of setting up a pleasant course and a fun, Hawaiian theme (and lots of porta-potties). All the runners were friendly and ready to have a blast, dressed in grass skirts and leis. It was a non-competitive, go-have-fun race. Our reward for finishing was Hawaiian pizza, light up leis, and a Tiki finisher's medal that doubles as a bottle opener.
The Tiki Run has just become an annual event for alohacoach. Aloha!!!
The uncertainty of creating without a guarantee that others will deem it valuable.
Someone asked me this question recently. A bit later the same person asked my opinion about the percentage of responsibility we carry for our feelings.
I'd like to offer an illustration that tie these two questions together and provide and answer.
I recently had the honor of sharing wellbeing exercises and theories as part of a team-building retreat for The Maccabee Group. They wanted an introduction to mindfulness, positivity, emotional intelligence, and strategies for support, encouragement, and energy during periods of high demand. They also requested basic stretching and postural activities for physical wellbeing.
I eagerly dove into this challenge and created an interactive presentation; incorporating dynamic, playful activities while keeping the client's needs in mind.
There was no guarantee that my creation would resonate with everyone though that thought never entered my mind during its design. My driving force was my passion and curiosity for possibility and growth.
The experience was amazing, the people were delightful! There were many moments of laughter, insight, and creativity. The participants engaged and were curious about each other as they explored new ways to use their strengths. It was incredible to see their focus as they considered questions and used Silly Putty to find answers.
I left feeling energized and excited. I felt successful because I created a new way of connecting with people and through that, modeled how they can do the same. I felt successful because I have the courage to design something new.
Uncertainty is part of the package when you're creating for others. Embracing uncertainty releases the hold others have on our self-confidence and allows us to define success for ourselves. And, if we welcome uncertainty, our successes and the emotions that follow are within OUR control.
The alternative is putting our self-esteem and creativity at risk by allowing others to define our victories.
How do you handle uncertainty?
We all look for validation of our beliefs and opinions in people and experiences — we're hardwired to notice who and what supports our world-view.
At times, we challenge the people and things who don't validate our beliefs and opinions; we seem to prefer conflict over curiosity. What if challenging OUR beliefs, opinions, and attitudes through self-inquiry engender harmony?
We each have a filter that our experiences pass through on their way to becoming beliefs, opinions, and attitudes. These are our interpretations of experience, not absolute truth, yet when someone opposes our interpretations, or paradoxically, validates our negative bias of them, it often causes strong feelings within us. And strong feelings often produce strong reactions.
We may blame, deny, judge, project, withdraw, neglect, distract, or rationalize to pretend we don't play a part in the disconnect and discontent within our relationships. We assume that others should read our minds and that we all live by the same rules. We become attached to the idea that we're right, and the other is wrong. We might believe that the only resolution is if they (the source of our feelings) pay a price and admit their error. We become stuck and at the mercy of our feelings rather than seeing that we are in charge of our feelings — feelings and reactions don't just happen, we choose them. As Cardinal Newman said, "We can believe what we choose. We are answerable for what we choose to believe."
We all have a responsibility to be mindful of OUR intentions and interpretations. And, if we take responsibility for OURSELVES we won't need to reform others.
How are you validating your beliefs by creating and interpreting familiar or comfortable experiences? How does this enhance your connection with others? What possibilities might arise by questioning YOUR attachment to a belief, opinion, feeling or attitude?
Non-attachment to our beliefs, opinions, and attitudes and remaining receptive to these attributes in others creates spaciousness in relationships. Letting go of the idea that beliefs, opinions, and attitudes define each of us provides immunity to insult and cultivates tolerance.
Accepting the imperfection and impermanence in us all opens up an expansive, refreshing, and dynamic world!
Where can you nurture positive beliefs, opinions, and attitudes today?
Learner and sharer of all things healthy, active, esteem building, growth promoting, witty and Hawaiian