What's beneath the superficial layers we show the world?
Getting to the heart of this question may answer many quandaries about how to get along with others. Not only get along with others but appreciate them.
We spend a lot of our time and energy working. And though most of us are part of a team, and in service industries with an obligation to customer satisfaction, we don't often think about affect and authenticity.
How often do we lament about working with colleagues and the consumers we depend on to stay in business? How might we be sabotaging ourselves by charging others with our happiness?
How might connection shift our mindset and outlook?
When someone is complaining that they don't have enough, what's your internal chatter? Is it that it's not your problem? Or that they always complain? Perhaps you feel uncomfortable and wish they wouldn't burden you? How are you evaluating the other at that moment and how do you respond? And are either of you sharing beneath the perfunctory, or getting your needs met?
What would happen if you acknowledged their concern and asked them to tell you one golden nugget related to the topic? For instance; a colleague is droning on about their supervisor always rejecting their ideas. What if you said you could hear the frustration in their voice and are wondering what they value most about creating?
In that response, you've validated that you heard them and their feelings, then offered them an opportunity to talk about something enjoyable. A subtle shift in noting the positive while feeling heard is often disarming and provides an opportunity to build connection and trust. These two qualities aren't optional in fostering strong teams and thriving businesses; they're vital.
Peeling away a bit of the outer layer that gives the illusion of safety strengthens relationships. Noticing others and feeling seen by others cultivates unity. Unity and connection beget loyalty and morale.
The next time someone is airing their frustrations with you, take your best guess at their feelings and shift their attention to the silver lining — You'll both welcome the ethereal shift in energy.
Learner and sharer of all things healthy, active, esteem building, growth promoting, witty and Hawaiian