Perseverance and Insight Required!
For those of us embarking on making changes — physical, emotional, chemical, mental, etc. — isn't the change process challenge enough without the resistance of those around us?
Resistance on the part of family and friends is a well-known obstacle for anyone embarking on changing a chemical dependency problem. You get sober, feel healthy and proud and then the family that encouraged you to quit is complaining about your new disposition or comparing you to how you were before.
And, what makes it so hard for the person dedicated to change to embody those changes in the face of those familiar to us? It seems so much easier to emulate the changes we're making with people new to our lives or people on the same road to change that we are.
In striving to be present and mindful in every interaction, I often wonder how I fall back into old habits and wind up defending myself with people I've known for years. Why is it harder to respect myself and my new way of being with people I know well? And, what makes it so difficult for people that know me to accept and support the changes I'm striving to make?
I'm also changing my old habit of trying to figure everyone else out, so I'll focus on my experiences in this arena — after all, the only person I can change is me!
Lately, if I'm lucky, I'll notice my growing discomfort during a resistant conversation. More often, it's just after the conversation that I feel dishonored. Dishonored by me, not the other person.
I want to learn to trust myself, the change process, and any growing discomfort as it arises so that I stay present and honor both myself and the person with whom I'm speaking. Authenticity and self-respect will enrich us both.
Change requires enormous perseverance and insight! What change are you ready to take on?
Learner and sharer of all things healthy, active, esteem building, growth promoting, witty and Hawaiian